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Wednesday, June 08, 2005

The Adventures Of Tony Clark

The Kennedy assassination. Amelia Earhart's final flight. The whereabouts of Bin Laden. Zack Morris' first biological father.

All great world mysteries. All pale in comparison to this.

Clark


In a baseball season that continues to make less and less sense to me, this may be the ultimate kick-in-the-nuts-head-scratcher. Tony Clark is hitting .370? Tony Clark!!! I haven't been this confused since Doink The Clown temporarily paralyzed Crush with a mechanical arm.

Just so you know, through June 8th, Tony Clark, yes that Tony Clark, has as many or more RBI than the following Yankees (RBI totals are in captions):

Tino Martinez (30)
Jorge Posada (28)
Derek Jeter (21)
Bernie Williams (19)
Jason Giambi (15)
Ruben Sierra (10)
Tony Womack (10)


Excuse me while I go draw a warm bath and break out the razor blades.

(For those uncertain of Apple Sports Life's frustration, please contact Major League Baseball for games 4-7 of the 2004 American League Championship Series.)
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