MySpace for rent
I must testify...I'm a MySpace whore.
Or so says my buddy Bob, who has mocked my apparent willingness to submit and accept friend invites from anyone I've ever shared air with since 1980. Since signing up for the service three months ago, it only seemed natural that I build my contact list as quickly as possible. I didn't want to be the loser with three friends (counting the ubiquitous Tom) and one message from some fledgling emo band. Geared in this mindset, it made sense that I accept all invitations, even from the girl who drooled on my shoulder during a particularly touching All-4-One ballad at the Spring Fling in '96. (Said Dan: "Doesn't she know this is silk!!!") I digress, but the point is this: If I'm on this site, I might as well do it right. I'm no MySpace elitist, dammit!
It is fully understood that I am incredibly late to the MySpace party. The hipsters have already endorsed, renounced and now declared jihad on the service. This, as is the case with most hipster crusades, is of little consequence to me. I think the service is kind of cool to be honest. You get to post pics, scribble some inconsequential bullshit about yourself and then look at profiles of other people who do the same exact thing. It's not cold fusion or anything, but it's better than editing press releases.
In the last month alone, I have re-connected with my first ever kiss, my first "love", my old college roommate, my prom date and my token "forbidden fruit underclassman crush" (who happened to be my prom date's sister...awkward.) Of course, the argument could be made that these personalities that define your past fade into oblivion for a reason, and by reconnecting with said characters you indirectly upset the karmic balance by which your life is built upon thus potentially destroying the gravitational and existential pull of the Earth as we know it. Actually, I just thought of that myself and it's scaring the shit out of me. MOVING ON...
MySpace is not without its flaws of course. People tend to reveal FAR too much about themselves in their personal profiles -- I have a very close friend who casually revealed that she had "never been in love," making this seemingly grand commentary on her life public knowledge for cyber space without so much as uttering a single word about her travails to me. I also don't need to know that my little cousin's best asset is "her boobs," or that one of my ex-girlfriend's "is known" to use a vibrator twice a day. Known to who? NOT ME! This superfluous and often embarrassing information would best be checked into the safe recesses of the mind, me thinks.
My theory is that people sit alone at their computers typing this highly personal information thinking that the content will remain private once you click the submit button. This is nuts to me. Of course, this is coming from the same guy who wrote a blog post in December about going to a bar by himself, so really, take everything here with a grain of salt.
If you were to read my profile, I'd like to think you get an idea of what the main dish is, but not the main ingredients. I'm fine that people know who my favorite music group is (U2), but I'll be damned if you're going to find out when I first noticed "changes" in my body (1992). You know what I'm saying? I hope so.
In the end, it's important to understand the limitations of the service and take it from there. If you're looking to find love or a best friend, chances are you're going to either be disappointed (best case) or brutally slain (um, worst). But if you're just looking to share some photos with buddies, re-connect with old acquaintances, discover some new music or just make fun of random people with no meaningful ramifications (a personal fave), this is the place to be.
If nothing else, it's better than actually doing work, right? I thought so.
Or so says my buddy Bob, who has mocked my apparent willingness to submit and accept friend invites from anyone I've ever shared air with since 1980. Since signing up for the service three months ago, it only seemed natural that I build my contact list as quickly as possible. I didn't want to be the loser with three friends (counting the ubiquitous Tom) and one message from some fledgling emo band. Geared in this mindset, it made sense that I accept all invitations, even from the girl who drooled on my shoulder during a particularly touching All-4-One ballad at the Spring Fling in '96. (Said Dan: "Doesn't she know this is silk!!!") I digress, but the point is this: If I'm on this site, I might as well do it right. I'm no MySpace elitist, dammit!
It is fully understood that I am incredibly late to the MySpace party. The hipsters have already endorsed, renounced and now declared jihad on the service. This, as is the case with most hipster crusades, is of little consequence to me. I think the service is kind of cool to be honest. You get to post pics, scribble some inconsequential bullshit about yourself and then look at profiles of other people who do the same exact thing. It's not cold fusion or anything, but it's better than editing press releases.
In the last month alone, I have re-connected with my first ever kiss, my first "love", my old college roommate, my prom date and my token "forbidden fruit underclassman crush" (who happened to be my prom date's sister...awkward.) Of course, the argument could be made that these personalities that define your past fade into oblivion for a reason, and by reconnecting with said characters you indirectly upset the karmic balance by which your life is built upon thus potentially destroying the gravitational and existential pull of the Earth as we know it. Actually, I just thought of that myself and it's scaring the shit out of me. MOVING ON...
MySpace is not without its flaws of course. People tend to reveal FAR too much about themselves in their personal profiles -- I have a very close friend who casually revealed that she had "never been in love," making this seemingly grand commentary on her life public knowledge for cyber space without so much as uttering a single word about her travails to me. I also don't need to know that my little cousin's best asset is "her boobs," or that one of my ex-girlfriend's "is known" to use a vibrator twice a day. Known to who? NOT ME! This superfluous and often embarrassing information would best be checked into the safe recesses of the mind, me thinks.
My theory is that people sit alone at their computers typing this highly personal information thinking that the content will remain private once you click the submit button. This is nuts to me. Of course, this is coming from the same guy who wrote a blog post in December about going to a bar by himself, so really, take everything here with a grain of salt.
If you were to read my profile, I'd like to think you get an idea of what the main dish is, but not the main ingredients. I'm fine that people know who my favorite music group is (U2), but I'll be damned if you're going to find out when I first noticed "changes" in my body (1992). You know what I'm saying? I hope so.
In the end, it's important to understand the limitations of the service and take it from there. If you're looking to find love or a best friend, chances are you're going to either be disappointed (best case) or brutally slain (um, worst). But if you're just looking to share some photos with buddies, re-connect with old acquaintances, discover some new music or just make fun of random people with no meaningful ramifications (a personal fave), this is the place to be.
If nothing else, it's better than actually doing work, right? I thought so.
posted by Dan Hanzus at 9:36 AM
6 Comments:
I personally use it to laugh at others who are less fortunate than I am!....Hah!
i love your blog! please write more!!!!
Limitations?! I don't think so. I WILL find my love on myspace. Let's procreate.
You myspace whores really mystify me. I'm too lazy to join so far - I think it's too cool for me.
I'll stick with Friendster for now.
love your blog, Dan, very well written...And I agree with EVERYTHING you wrote about Myspace - however, last night I got into a HUGE fight with my boyfriend about some comment a friend made on my page!!! Seriously, go onto my page and let me know if u'd be pissed too...
Googled "Pussycat dolls suck", then stayed and read your entire blog. Utterly entertaining! This last post was a classic. :)
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